Is it because I queefed?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
