so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
do herpes really smell.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
