3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
