Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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