Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
