dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize