Porn is love you can see.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
