It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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