I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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