ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You ruined the universe
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize