Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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