the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
