No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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