Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
