We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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