I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize