I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
