not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
