did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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