you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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