Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
