At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
