Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
