I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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