yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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