he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
