apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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