the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
