you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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