Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
