Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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