omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she peed on how many people?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Couch. On fire.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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