i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just found a bag of teeth...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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