I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You ruined the universe
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
