Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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