She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i think my cat just said my name.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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