Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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