Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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