True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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