Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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