An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
