Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
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I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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