Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
