I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
