Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
