I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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