shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
