y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
