Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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