my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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