I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
