Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
