where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
