My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize