So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
