I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
you never un-have a 4some
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
