Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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