North Korea, Best Korea!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
